Dear Readers,
Once again I apologize for not being here and writing daily. I need to. The past month or so has been perfectly overwhelming. My schoolwork was piling up because I was too down to start papers on a timely manner. I started to hide from life, from my feelings, from everything. I cant do that forever though. Several weeks ago I began counseling. I'm very happy I made that step. I have issues with asking for help. My counselor is a young intern, almost finished her masters degree. She is not much older than me but has a old soul and is very compassionate. 20 dollars a session fits my bill.
Today I had my fourth session. We are working on my anger at God for my tmau, and insecurities that I had when I was younger which make it even harder for me to cope with stresses and rejections.
We talked about my issues with escapism ( going into a dream land to make it all better) I feel safe with her and it gives me something to look forward to weekly.
And....I have a crush :(
I almost died ( really) because he sat next to me in class. I don't know why he had to do that. I was sooo stressed I almost fainted. I didn't know whether I smelled around him or not. I couldn't tell but was utterly stressed! I felt my left leg shaking. Oh man. Darn this PTSD. I couldn't even move.
Ugh......life
Lets take it day by day.
With love,
Black Rose
