Dedicated to the Traumatized

This is dedicated to the Traumatized

The freezing
The dissociation from reality
we try to go invisible
To escape the pain
cruel eyes
shaming words
it harms us deeper
but somehow
we
continue
on

Dear Readers,
My heart is utterly broken today. I am baffled by my own pain, endless defense mechanisms and grief. I want to scream, but that seems pointless. Even in this UTTER devastation. I will continue. Lets continue.

It will not always be like this.

Much love.

Black Rose

( check out Stephanie Neilson's blog. She inspired mine- she is the definition of strong)

Be encouraged

I was on cure zone the other day and I realized there are so many people going through this same heartbreaking condition. I am amazed that so many people feel exactly what I have feel, and been where I have been, and are where I am.
It gives me strength and inspires me continue to encourage and to write.

One thing Ive struggled with is being cruel to myself over this thing I can not control. Tmau really triggered my inner wounds and turned into full blown self loathing.

I did not feel beautiful

I did not feel desirable

I felt deeply unworthy of good things

I tortured myself emotionally with blame and shame for tmau when in reality I didn't ask for it. At the time I didn't even know what it was!I had no idea their was a condition called tmau.

I barely thought I had the right to exist because of the harsh ways people interacted with me because of tmau

I was utterly heartbroken over feeling my joy, social life and confidence slip through my fingers.


I will not put on a front....sometimes those feelings still arise. But, let me tell you what I know NOW!

I am beautiful, because I am human. I have eyes filled with soul and so do you!

I am not alone in this struggle with tmau, so many other people struggle with the same feelings, aches, and fears.

I do not need to feel shame over something that I can not control! I can only do my best with the knowledge of tmau I have.


Other people are just people. They have problems too, and I am not less than anyone!


God bless you readers.


With love,

Black Rose

Happy Decemeber 1st

December
is
here.
Happy December 1st everyone!

I am basically obsessed with new months and New years. I love the idea of a new start on life.

I have faith that much healing will occur in December.

God bless you readers. You are in my prayers.



Want to dance? This came on when I was driving home....I thought they were saying " dark days" ....I got so excited. I was like YESSS....the DARK DAYS ARE OVER! :)

Its a fun song anyway.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ny4deVFsYuo


-Black Rose