Dear readers,
Today I was just thinking about the awful shame that comes with tmau. We feel "bad" because we have this body struggle. Truth be told tmau is not "bad" and does not make us "bad."We are just human being with a physical struggle. Simple as that.
Those around us, who may have rejected us or talked about us make us feel deep shame. It makes us wish we smelled like flowers,or were someone else, or were not around anyone during a tmau occurrence. We are frantic to maintain "control" of our bodies so that we can feel accepted and loved. The experience is painful and no one who has not experienced tmau can quite understand how impacting it is.
We seek to hide from all the pain we experience.
Dear Reader, I want to tell you what will never change- despite how others have hurt your heart, or despite the despair you may feel
1. You are precious and irreplaceable. There is only one of you- and you are more precious than any treasure in the world.
2. You are beautiful. Your smile, your face,your body, your heart- your fears..You are beautiful
3. You are worthy of love. There are many people on this earth. There are some very compassionate people- not all people will respond to you as you may think.
Be kind to yourself and do not beat yourself up for this struggle you are enduring. Some things that are helpful are- writing, contacting a natural doctor who is clearly compassionate( listens to you and shows gentle/honest concern) and knowledgeable to assist you with vitamins/teas or herbs/ that can assist your bodies scent. Drink water ( I keep a water body on me to calm me if I'm stressed or anxious). Find someone you can trust to talk about it with- a loving family member, friend or counselor.
God bless.
Hug.
Sincerely,
Black Rose
Thank you! I am just beginning to suspect TMAU and am feeling a bit overwhelmed at the prospect of what the future may hold.
ReplyDeleteYou are a beautiful writer. I have confirmed TMAU through urine test at Children's Hospital in Arkansas. I was negative for the mutated gene via bloodwork at a hospital in Colorado. I'm a kindergarten teacher and let me tell you kids have sensitive noses! It makes me SO SAD to see kids covering their noses, making funny faces, etc. I don't want to or mean to offend anyone but it just happens. TMAU has a way of making suffers feel like the black sheep in the world.. the freaks.. the X-Men who didn't get a cool mutation to save the future of mankind. Damn. That IS a bummer. Our mutation is useless and worse it's circus people/freak show worthy. Thank God I have a husband and two beautiful kids to keep me going because if I didn't I would have ended it long ago... the pain is at times so unbearable. Keep writing!
ReplyDeleteEnigmama,
ReplyDeleteHang in there. There is help with tmau. Check out my post "B-2 and a note on the mirror." Did tmau symptoms just start for you? Let me know! God bless you!
Pepe Le,
Thank you very much :) I have yet to be tested, I have the symptoms though. Sometime next year I intend to be tested. I am so sorry that tmau makes teaching uncomfortable/ painful for you at times. I understand. I hate the feeling of offending someone. However, just like you said....it just happens. I do often feel like a black sheep in the world, and at other times I do feel like a mutant. By the way...I love X Men:)
However we must remember everyone has their own deep struggle, unfortunately ours is more noticeable.
I loveeeee reading that you are married with two beautiful kids! YES!<3
That is a great encouragement and blessing to those of us who have that dream! Stay encouraged, you are precious.