When Im not in control...I sometimes vent

I hate that I can not control my tmau
That it can disrupt my life
and that I am not in control of it.

I hate that tmau as impacted every element of my life; social, relationships, self esteem etc.

I hate feeling "other" sometimes

I hate the false shame( cause Its not like I'm doing something "wrong"- its just my body)

I hate wondering if tmau will rob me of certain dreams

And if I'm going to vent properly...
Sometimes I just hate that life is not perfect.

But....life is not perfect.
And when I'm reminded of that....I can leave my anger alone for a while, and look outward- not inward.

Sorry....to vent on you. But as angry as I may sound, I'm not screaming or crying. I feel a little achy in my heart but...I'm listening to music, sitting by a large window... and about to eat some pasta. So I'm okay.

I just really have been sensing all the painful elements of tmau. I needed to vent them.....

But, to illuminate the less obvious impacts...

....I'm going to say two of the good things tmau has done for me ( I KNOW...thorn in the flesh)

1. Made me very compassionate toward people who suffer
2. Made me stronger in all ways


Sincerely,

Black Rose